Into our Skin

Last night, my husband and I attended our 30th high school reunion.  Yeah, 30…the big 3-0.  I can’t believe it.  I have been to all three reunions ( 10, 20 and now the  30).   It’s kind of funny because I don’t really feel like I have a lot (if any) ties to the people I graduated with.  In fact,  there are only  2 people I am tied to from that time period: My best friend, who graduated  a year behind me and I have known her since we played soccer in 6th grade.  And , my husband, who I hooked up with at the  20 year reunion, started hanging out with, eventually dating seriously  and   married  2 years after.   Otherwise,   I see these people every ten years, make promises to keep in contact and then re-acquaint myself at the next class of ’84 gathering.  It’s kind of funny because for those 4 years, those people in that school were "the be all, end all" of existence.  As a teacher in a high school, I still kind of live in that world but  I always tell my students that life changes after high school and the people  you surround yourself with  in high school may not always be the people  you surround yourself with in life.  Of course they don’t believe me and maybe for them it is not true but…..

So some highlights of the evening:

• I was kind of an odd duck in high school because  the first 8 years of my  academic career were spent   in a  Catholic school(Saint Barnabas)and then I transferred to the local public school.  Besides being a victim of the blue plaid uniform fashion blindness,   I was kind of a wall flower in high school.  However, of the approximate 50 or so classmates who were in attendance, at least 10 of them were my Barnabas comrades.    Several of whom were the class officers who have been the masterful planners of the  reunions.  It was cool to  see so many of my peers as stand out members of our class.
• My husband and I were a trivia question.  The main planner of the reunion, one of my Barnabas peers, kind of takes  credit for  us getting together…if she had never planned the reunion, we  would have never met ( I think that I show she sees it) so she is very happy about us being together and made us a  trivia question.
• A guy came up to my husband very excited to see him at the reunion.  My husband had no clue who he was by face or name.  I asked this gentleman to  give a story about them, hoping that it would jar a memory for my husband.  He told a very comical story that involved another student and a fight.  The “fight” never happened but my husband and this excited guy got in trouble anyways and had to stand by the pole during recess (punishment?).  The  third student  walked over to my  husband and his  co-conspirator and taunted them.  The co-conspirator  punched the taunter and  my husband and  the co-conspirator ended up in the principal’s office. The principal, familiar with the antics of the taunter, kind of dismissed the boys as the tauter deserved what he got.  My husband still had no recollection of the story.  Now, however, I can tease him about ending up in  the principal’s office.
• The reunion was in a restaurant/bar.  The reunion had  half of the restaurant with a back party room where they had food set up.  In the other half of the restaurant were the non-reunion  patrons and a band.  The band was very good.  We stepped over to enjoy an 80s era song that they were playing and were standing on the edge of what was an aisle way dance floor.  There were 2 women dancing.  One of these women danced her way over and started dancing with my husband.  After 2-3 minutes of dancing with him, she leaned over and said “Are you two married?”  He replied “Yes.”  She practically ran away.  I told him “You've still got it baby!"

The faces may change…

There were a number of people there who  just look exactly the same as they did in high school.  Even if I don’t know their names, I could see them  and  know that I had seen them before.  It seems I am one of those people because  that’s what they say to me.  “You have not changed at all (except in hair color).  There were some who were totally different and I could not believe it was them.  The coolest thing though was  whether we looked “exactly the same” or totally different, we all seemed to have grown "into our skin".  We all seemed so comfortable with who we were and  what we had become.   I always try to help my students understand that  while high school is everything to them, it is like a minute of your life.  The beauty of life is  who you become and how you  embrace the person that you are. I learned this most from my husband who said one of my most attractive qualities that he   liked about me was that when he met me, I was “totally comfortable in my skin”.